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May 27 08 10:44 AM
Nothing is more enviable than a soul which can
To swarm is to fly,a heavenly
move to the sky.
( .... and I do swarm every day again ! )
May 27 08 10:51 AM
LexiCrowegrapher to the
Layne R wrote:
Crowezo and I have exchanged a few messages off the board, and I can honestly say that
he's a pretty nice guy.
I don't know if he'll post here or not, but I wanted to let you know that he and I, at least, have apologized to one another and made peace. So,
hopefully, we can all put this one behind us now, and all will be well in Croweland.
thanks for sharing that, layne. good to mend fences when one can.
i think i'll take up swimming again...
May 27 08 10:54 AM
May 27 08 1:15 PM
Dysfunctional parents create dysfunctional predispositions in their
children, and I was emotionally immature, anxious, shy, rebellious and ill prepared to socialize with normal children. I gravitated toward low achievers with
adjustment problems and wound up hanging out with the "hoods" as they were called in the 50s.
My early years were equally distributed between rural and urban
environments and my teen years reflected the ambiguities and uncertainties of moving from WW II's social culture to the emerging Elvis-Rock and Roll,
breakout rebellion and individualism of the 50s.
I lived in "the projects," in rural shacks, in downtown
apartments, and in suburban starter homes. I lived with drunken disorder, conflict, screaming, fighting, threatening, verbally abusive parents and mocking,
bullying, teasing, taunting classmates.
I wanted to be a barber like my best friend, but instead worked menial jobs
until starting Jr. College then transferring to a four year school. I loved English Literature and hated business topics. I sought escape and salvation in the
esotericism of art and dreaded the drudgery of repetitive tasks and soulless concerns of making money. I was a truth seeker.
I wanted to achieve-I wanted success, but was not predisposed by
temperament or personality to accomplish either. I was a skinny geek with no self-confidence until I transformed my body by exercise and became more confident
and outgoing. Management consulting (Behavioral Psychology) and training and speaking in front of groups, large and small allowed me to become arrogant and
over-confident...a real metamorphosis.
I have seen the heights and depths of human emotion and experienced
relationships, events, traumas, uncertainties, depression, exhilaration, success, and failure. I had many loves and experienced the ecstasy of indescribable
moments of passion and the inexpressible sorrow of separation and loss. I am a hopeless romantic who cries during sad movies and books. Poetry sometimes makes
me cry. What a wuss, right?
My experience tells me that fear dominates the lives of most; people tend
to adopt a categorical perspective for self-protection-judging others, attacking that which they do not understand and fear. So, our fellow travelers, our
brothers and sisters on this isolated sphere have become enemies and contestants for the resources of existence. We who are of one mother in our distant
Most of us do not know how to be human-we want to be Christians,
Republicans, Liberals, sports fans-we want to merge our identities with some clearly defined institution, organization or movement. We hide from uncertainty
and in so doing forfeit our humanity for robotic principles and protective standards.
I don't believe that people choose to be aberrant, criminal,
anti-social, dysfunctional, maladjusted, unsuccessful, unmotivated, low-achievers. An invulnerable determinism of environment, genetics and chemistry compels
us to our course.
People interest me because in conversation we all appear similar, but in
practice we vary wildly in our drive, determination, motivation, passion and will. You cannot tell by looking at someone whether they are entrepreneurial risk
takers who will work undauntingly toward an obsession or whether they are uselessly irresponsible parasites who live from day to day.
I am aggressive and outspoken and push people away by being overly
analytical, sarcastic, and critical of the lackadaisical flower children that missed the last bus to life's love in but attempt to compensate at every
opportunity. I have helped anyone around me who was in need and have attempted to help those who would not seek help themselves.
I dislike bosses and authority and rebel against being told what to do by
anyone less experienced, knowledgeable or intelligent than I. I don't trust anyone but my wife. I love religion, Christmas, and the teachings of Jesus but
I am non-theistic. I do not try to be consistent as you can tell.
If I had the money, I would help every living human within my reach. I
agonize over the suffering that takes place on our planet and blame it on the nature of man-a greedy, power-hungry, aggressive species that seeks to dominate.
I think politicians and priests will lead humankind to our downfall.
I do not trust academics or intellectuals; their talents have not helped us
solve real world problems. They delude themselves by subscribing to a constructed reality that reeks of hope and naïveté. Self-interest guides the behavior of
all humans, including the people who work for The Salvation Army and other charities. Man can be a greasy little tree swinging monkey-nasty, cruel, and
crafty--given the right context.
Some of our species are kind, caring, compassionate and self-sacrificing.
These exceptions to the bestiality of our general disposition should be cherished but they are ignored because the rich and famous monopolize the media. Their
contributions are displaced by the misdeeds of the sociopathic brutes that wonder our streets killing, robbing, raping, and brutalizing us all-encouraged by a
dysfunctional justice system that is hamstrung by the socially sensitive who hold forth with the fashionable belief that men without consciences can be
I have wandered among the thoughts of our best and brightest-among the
emotions of our poets and artists,
and find no redemption in their self-serving, mutually contradictory
ramblings--but I love poetry nonetheless. We are stardust and carbon and we will never find our way beyond the physiological compulsions which we seek so
desperately to depreciate and overcome. The urgency of our evolution has shaped our chemistry and designed a beast that hastens to self- destruction.
I wonder and marvel at our predicament-isolated in infinite vastness,
unequaled in structural and functional complexity, wonders of cosmic architecture and composition. We are both good and evil, true to our design and the
context of its origin.
I am no stranger to this cosmic landscape but am of it and within it.
Moving back and forth among its contradictions and ambiguities, feeling its extremes and commiserating with the pain and suffering of its denizens, I am
floating on the ether of seeming substance that forms my reality.
In the not too distant future, I will be gone; then, eventually our
planetary system will self-destruct; later our universe will vanish unto itself. And then, all this…this pulsing, electrical construct of chemistry and tissue
and cognition will be consumed and nothing that I say or do will have mattered. And all the books and philosophers and poets and prophets and politicians and
brutality will be as nothing; gone with the wind.
"They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.
They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for awhile, then closes
Within a dream."
May 27 08 1:39 PM
Alias MsMACBud's TypistInconsequentialBut Always True
May 27 08 2:31 PM
LexiCrowegrapher to the
May 27 08 3:04 PM
May 27 08 3:16 PM
Crowe Crossing MemberBen Perver
May 27 08 3:30 PM
am I the person you thought?
May 27 08 3:42 PM
May 27 08 7:16 PM
Do I have something to apologize to you for?
Have a life--your own, not Russell's....Stop slavishly ingratiating yourself ...unlike you he (RC) has a life based on his own accomplishments....How
pitiful it is to defend someone... to find someone to attack just to demonstrate how loyal you are
I think that some of you are without compassion and overly programmed.... I think some of you are f*cked...
May 28 08 5:00 AM
I just feel like my heart is going to burst because it's full of rainbows.
May 28 08 5:03 AM
I banned Crowezo.
May 28 08 5:07 AM
May 28 08 9:25 AM
May 28 08 11:06 AM
We do not allow deliberately deceptive identities at this board.
heh-heh-heh! i've got you all fooled!
May 29 08 8:22 AM
"You are the reason I am. You are all my reasons." -- John Nash
"A well constructed sentence will give me chills" -- Russell Crowe
May 29 08 3:51 PM
Bonnie bonnie Alba
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